Too Many Interests, Not Enough Daylight

Author’s Note: I’ve been more than a little distracted for the first few months of the year. If you’re curious about what, just turn on the news. As much as I’ve tried to live life and not become too disturbed by the shit show this country has been since January 20, I can’t just sit and ignore the crumbling of our country’s institutions under a wannabe dictator. I’m resisting in my own little ways, but I’m not ready to write about that yet. That said, I also need to keep doing the things that I enjoy and that help keep me sane. Writing is one of those things. So, as hard as it is for me to get my mind focused on something other than the current abnormal political situation, I’m going to do my best. That’s all I know to do.

Now back to our regular unscheduled programming…

As I get older, I realize more and more that my time here is limited. No, I’m not already planning my own demise. It simply seems like the days are getting shorter as my personal sense of urgency is increasing. There are too many things to accomplish but not enough time to do them all.

The way I put that makes it sound like I’m all “go, go, go” and “work, work, work.”

Yeah…not so much. I spend too much time doom scrolling for that, which is totally my own fault.

Still, I’ve always had a wide assortment of interests. When I was younger, it was no big deal if I didn’t get things done. I had plenty of time to do them later. It’s later, and it seems like a bigger deal now since I can feel that my days are more limited.

For example, I’d like to finish writing a book one of these days (yes, I’ve started), but every time I sit down to write, I start thinking about all of the other things I could be doing. It’s not that I don’t want to write. It’s that sense of urgency kicking in telling me that I also have a family to hang with, books to read, movies to catch up on, a blog to write for, video games to play, exercise to do, a garden to tend…and I have to hold down a full-time job to help pay for all of my hobbies and interests.

That full-time job teaching teenagers is exhausting…which makes me just want to sit and be in the evenings. And that’s what happens more often than not.

I guess if I’m being honest with myself, it’s not so much that I need more time. I just need to figure out a way to prioritize (or maybe schedule) my time better so that I can fit everything in. Deadlines help if there is someone or something to hold me accountable. If not, the deadline will come and go while I’m playing on my phone.

I entered a short story contest at the beginning of the year. I didn’t make it to the next round, but having a goal and a deadline during the first round helped get me something accomplished. I though my story was pretty good for someone who doesn’t normally write fiction. Apparently, the judges didn’t agree, but I’ll write more about that later. (I have a few more days before I’m allowed to publish the story I wrote online. Once I can, I will.)

I’ve often joked out loud that having a blog is cheaper than therapy. It’s true. Even if no one ever reads this, at least I got my thoughts out…and it helps. I’d like to think it helps other people too in knowing that they aren’t alone. So just know that if you’re a procrastinating middle ager with too many interests and not enough daylight, I’m right there with you.

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