Decisions

Several years ago, I was chatting with some of my students about my time in high school. One of them asked me what position I played in football. My sarcastic response.

Bench.

That answer wasn’t completely true for most of the time I played, but it also wasn’t a lie. It got a good laugh from the kids, and that’s what I was aiming for.

For two years in junior high and the first two years in high school, I started on A Team. During my junior season, my last season and my only season on Varsity, I didn’t get as much playing time as I thought I’d earned and deserved. So my response to the kids was referencing that last year that I played, not my entire time playing ball.

In the locker room after what would be my final game, my position coach came and, trying to console me at the end of a 1-9 season, made mention that I would be a starter the next year. Confused, I asked him how he could know that. His response: “You’ll be a senior.”

That moment in time has been etched into my brain for the past twenty nine years because it was at that moment when I realized I’d just played my last football game. I didn’t want to play because of my age or grade. I wanted to play because I was the best person at my position. I didn’t want to play politics. I wanted to play football. But the game wasn’t fun anymore so I walked away.

The decision to quit playing after my junior season probably (there’s no way to know for sure) changed the trajectory of my life.

Even with the minimal time I played on Varsity, I’d received a couple of letters from small Texas colleges interested in having me come play for them when I graduated high school. If I’d have played my senior season, there’s a high probability that I would have gone to one of those smaller schools instead of attending the University of Texas and just focusing on my studies. That, in turn, would likely have changed everything that happened afterward.

I have a good friend who is the son of a relatively well-known Texas high school football coach who won a state championship a few decades ago. My friend and I were talking about this once, and I mentioned to him that if I’d have played in college, I would probably be a coach right now. Without hesitating, he said, “Yes, you would.” The jury is still out about whether that was a complement or not, but coming from him, I think it was. I’ll take it.

It’s funny though with how many decisions we all make on a daily basis, how some are more impactful than others. I won’t bore anyone with them (yet), but I have a whole string of little decisions that I made along the way that got me to where I am right now. Change any one of those decisions, and everything else is different.

That realization overtime has had a bit of a debilitating effect on me. Because I’m a perfectionist, I tend to overthink everything…which often time just leads to me doing nothing…which is also a decision. That said, I have to remind myself that all we can do is the best we can do.

May we simply enjoy the good decisions, grow from the bad decisions, and live our best lives.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

Maya Angelou